Head Over Heels

Dear Mad Hatter,                                                                                                                                                                      

It is important to let you know that I blame you for the sappy love songs that are currently playing on my Pandora Radio Station.  I mean I chose them but the fact that you swept me off me off of my feet is the only reason that I felt so inclined to search through until I had artists that sing so softly and so gushy I usually gag and change the station as quickly as possible.  What we have between us is nothing but emotional and you have worn so many hats over the years that although this one is completely new it’s comfortable and I like you in it.  There are still times when I beg you to switch hats so that I myself can slip back into roles I have played along the way in your life that I am more comfortable in because Mad Hatter, this hat you’re wearing right now has got me flipping, screaming, soaring and flying through the air in pure ecstasy. I am literally head-over-heels in love with you. 

I have never had a romantic relationship, many practical ones along the way.  You know the kind that make so much sense it would be complete hubris not to enter into a relationship with the person.  The type of relationship where you can and we probably have sat down and weighed the pros and the cons the costs and the benefits and decided the good outweighed the bad in such a way that a relationship could work.  For a person with control issues this was probably the most comfortable type of relationship I’ve been in. Afterall, it was all written on paper, clear as day the reasons this relationship was meant to be. 

I’ve also had hedonistic relationships in which there was so much unbridled passion it made perfect sense to get into that relationship.  I could relate to India.Arie and Musiq when they came into agreement on the way one person can be a chocolate high for another.  I’ve been able to look at the person I’m coalesced with and happily acknowledge they are my black coffee with sugar, no cream in the morning.  You know…the super double caffeine dream? 

I’ve also had relationships of convenience, possibly entered into precipitously but still perfectly perfect for the moment in which they emerged. I had a need of something dross and you came along with just the right balance of blandilouence and bootless feelings which made me realize it would work out for some measure of time.  

But, I have never had a romantic relationship such as this.  One in which I see your name pop up on the display of my phone and the smile begins as a low rumble in the bottom of my heart until the moment I hear your voice and even as we palaver about things of little to no importance I am grinning, shocked at the way my smile has stretched across my face. I look around at those who are oblivious to my plight and am shocked they can’t see the love that must be emanating off of my skin. I absentmindedly doodle hearts as I listen to you talk about your day and I giggle and blush several times over the course of our conversations (yeah, giggle and blush! So embarrassing!). I don’t believe in falling in love yet as Pandora continues to spin through Joe, Babyface, Faith Evans, and Luther Vandross I find myself to relating to every word as I think of us holding hands and running through a field of daisies, a special sunshine upon us as we kick up our heels every now and again. 

You’ve worn so many hats in my life I don’t know why it’s this moment that you chose to wear the hat I struggle with the most but am enjoying with more immense pleasure than I ever thought possible. 

Love Always, 



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