The Storm

The Storm

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. There is always that person that you feel so intricately bound to it seems no matter where they go in life and no matter where you go in life they still remain connected to your heart in some way. That person that you have to try hard not to think about because as soon as you do think about them they’re consuming your every thought. For the longest I’ve thought this was just something I experienced and have kept it a hidden secret in the crevices of my heart, not daring to discuss it with anyone as even in the wells of my mind it lingered on the border of obesession.
Recently I’ve been talking to a girlfriend of mine who has been expressing the same feeling and even in our conversations both of us could acknowledge the feeling was very real and present but neither of us could put a name to the feeling. Then a few weeks ago I came across a blog by Somethin’ Special and she echoed my exact seniments. In fact, she even gave it the term of “faxing” which is when you’re thinking about that person and they’re thinking about you and it gets so intense that the drive to reach out to them in some way becomes physical. I always called it The Calm before The Storm.
Why?
Well, The Storm is that driving force in my life. The person who I met by complete chance and happenstance five years ago but have known since the moment he wrapped his arms around me in our opening embrace that he would be powerfully important and instrumental in my life. A Storm is defined as a violent commotion or disturbance. If I said The Storm came into my life, shook it at its very foundation, flipped it upside down and left me shaky when my feet found solid ground again I would still be lacking in description.
Have you ever met someone and the moment you met them you knew your life has been poised on the verge of waiting for this moment? You also knew you would never again live a moment of life without this person in your life yet you have fought every moment? This is how it’s been with The Storm.
As I said, by chance I met him. I went one unexpected evening to an unexpected place and there he was. He’s one of those people that greets not with a handshake, high five or head nod but with a hug and when he wrapped his arms around me I knew. Nothing physical, sexual, emotional or mental was exchanged between us yet I had an instant soul tie with The Storm. For years we have been in and out of each other’s life, we volley between liking and disliking one another yet always caring for each other more than words can express.
I fight against being with him and when I’m not with him it’s the Calm before The Storm because when that Storm hits, that unshakable feeling of needing to be with him I can’t escape it. My trying to turn away from the feeling is as effective as putting on my Nikes and running from the tornado, pressing my hands to the sky in an effort to hold back the rain, or squeezing the ground together to keep the earthquake from rocking the core. It’s no use, when that storm hits I am a victim to it and every moment of the storm. Sometimes I try to wait it out, sometimes I try to trudge through it and sometimes I just hold my arms out by my side, throw my head back and enjoy the power of The Storm as he wraps his arms around me and satisfies the missing element of my life the way a year isn’t satisfied until winter has raged through it.
I love my Storm, I hate my Storm. I dream about my Storm, I go months without thinking about my Storm but I would not be complete without my Storm.
Sometimes it rains in June, sometimes it snows in August but no matter what I know my Storm will be with me always.

Love Always,
Sunny

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Comments
7 Responses to “The Storm”
  1. charlotteswebspace says:

    There is one thing you can count ON, you have no idea if you or he will be there tomorrow.. I had that same feeling over 30 years ago, love hate but you know you can’t live without. Now over 30 years later he’s still giving hugs..why beat yourself up go for it, it only takes a date or two to know for sure..but please wait for marriage don’t defile the marriage bed..from the old school of respect & honor that’s me. Plus God blesses those that do wait.

    • Sunny Dee says:

      Thank you for you wisdom and words of advice. Naturally, I am waiting- I’m too precious not to! We’ll see how this plays out, I’ll keep my followers updated.

  2. Kimberly says:

    all I can say is God loves you baby girl – I guess thats why the suns out!

  3. Kimolisa says:

    That is so funny, because I’m going through my own Storm and I read this. Right now I’m just trying to get out of it. Months would pass and we would not talk, I figured he was already married and the like, then out of the blue he would text me. Weeks would pass another text and when I don’t answer he would call. It’s nice to be wanted but when it won’t work because of obvious reasons, you have to let go. I just have to get up the nerve to tell him point blank not to contact me.

    Oh dear, I’m rambling. Any suggestions on moving on from the storm.

    • Sunny Dee says:

      It’s one of those things where you just have to be willing to believe that he’s not the one for you because The One is patiently waiting and can’t appear until you’ve given up on chasing the others. It’s so much easier said than done and sometimes it’s easy to disconnect from God’s plan and focus on our own. When you’re ready you’ll let go but as long as you allow him to he’ll be there to pop back up.
      Best wishes along you’re journey!

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