Can Men and Women be Friends

Harry Meets SallyIt all started with the age old adage on When Harry Met Sally, this belief that men and women can’t be friends without one or the other developing some kind of feeling towards the other. I hadn’t heard this argument in a long time but now Steve Harvey has taken to traveling the world, newly baptized in his martyrdom as relationship expert, it’s his new topic. This whole thing with Steve Harvey becoming the relationship expert seems like it’s going a little bit overboard. I mean, now his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is in signings to become a movie? It was just basic information, some of it even common sense but I understand we all have a different understanding of relationships and some of us are obviously lacking basic understanding and common sense.
Act Like a Lady
Yesterday Steve Harvey, new relationship expert, was on Good Morning America denouncing the ability for men and women to be friends and I took it to twitter in a great conversation that lasted all evening with various educated points of view. Even after everyone from my girlfriends, to Steve Harvey, to my twitter family, to my own male close friend weighed in my opinion remains the same: Adult men and women can be friends. I refuse to believe that a friendship between two people of the opposite sex always leads to an intimate or emotional affair.
One of my closest guy friends once told me,

I could never date a woman who has as many male friends as I do female friends. I know it sounds sexist but with all of my female friends I know we’re friends because she wants us to be. If at any time I went to them and said, “Hey, I’ve been feelin’ you for awhile and really wanted to tell you this, I think me and you should hook up.” it wouldn’t even take them a second to blow me off, tell me to quit playin’ and it would never come up again. However, if a woman went to one of their guy friends with the same proposal, it wouldn’t take him but a second to say “I thought you’d never ask.”

Another friend told me,

There’s only two women friends I have in my life that I’ve never once thought about having sex with. One is morbidly obese and the other is my wife’s sister.

So, with the understanding of that mentality I can understand how men would be wary of believing females when they say they have close male friends or some women even go so far as to claim a male as her best friend. But sometimes friends are just that, friends. They grew up together, they’ve known each other since college, they have more mutual friends than they do exclusive friends, whatever the circumstances are they’ve never been intimate and never would be.

So, when I say he’s like a brother, I mean he’s like a brother. If I call him my best male friend, it’s because he is! Not everything is one big Brown Sugar moment waiting to happen, relax!

2 Responses to “Can Men and Women be Friends”
  1. driftlessmind says:

    While I do think that it is possible that women and men can be friends,I have had an experience which makes me reconsider that thought. One of my best friends is a guy. We’ve been friends since Junior High. I can tell him everything and anything, I totally love this man. But one time he wrote me a 7 page letter saying how much he loved me and really wanted to be with me. I was crushed and didn’t know how to handle it. I mean I was not interested in my best friend at all, he was the brother I never had, and now this. Funny thing is we never discussed it, and it was awkward for awhile, but we never spoke about it. We just went back to the way things were before. A part of me wishes we would have spoken about it, and another part is relieved. But we are still best friends.

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