Bad Date #328

Dear Bad Date #328,
I enjoyed the time we spent with each other every Friday night at the poetry night in Harlem. It never bothered me that you always asked me out because you were always so creative in the way you asked me. You truly had good ideas: a midnight hike to see the stars, ice skating in Central Park, kayaking at Governor’s Island and the only reason I said no so consistently is because I just truly wasn’t interested and in a recession the last thing I want to do is waste anyone’s time and resources when they are at their most valuable state.
However, you finally appealed to my inner child when you invited me to go to the circus, thus the reason I finally accepted. You were persistent and I was quite certain we would have a good time seeing as how we always had such a good time on Friday nights at the Poetry set.
So, I got to Madison Square Garden for the big date under the big top at the time you’d requested and even when you called and said you would be about 30 minutes late my feathers remained unruffled as there was plenty to look around and see and I just knew you had our tickets so there would be no rush to get into line.
When you finally arrived we embraced and then you grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the…wait, are we walking towards the ticket counter? You mean we’re now a half hour late for the circus and still had yet to buy tickets? Oh! Ummm…okay.
In line we stand chatting and talking about how long it’d been since we’d been to the circus, what we hoped to see at the circus, what our favorite things were and just laughing at the last minute sights we were still seeing.
After about a half hour wait we arrived at the ticket counter and after we looked at the mat with the seating arrangement and picked our seats you turned to me and said,
“Sooo…how do you wanna do this?” as the man looked at us in anticipation of payment for the tickets we’d just chosen.
“Oh! Ummm….okay….I only have my card, I didn’t bring any cash.” I awkwardly explained.
At which point you turn back to the ticket seller and ask, “You take Visa or Mastercard right?” After an affirmative nod from him you turn back to me and say, “You can just use your card.”
“Oh! Ummm…okay.” I slide my card across the counter. $50 for a date he begged me to go on! The charges go on my card and we step out of line with two tickets in hand.
“Hey Sunny, let me get my ticket. I’m just gonna run out and get something to eat, the food in here is too expensive, I’ll meet you inside.”
“Oh! Ummm…okay.” I hand him his ticket and before I can even ask him to grab something for me too he’s off and out the door.
I head into the circus tent where the clowns have already started their routines of ensuing hilarity throughout the auditorium. I pick my way to my seat and sit by myself in my seat as the show goes on around me.
Forty-five minutes later you come back with a bag containing a foot-long Subway sandwich, chips and a drink. You plop down in your seat and without a word to me at all you pull out your sandwich, unwrap it and begin eating. You stare straight ahead eating your dinner and sipping your drink while watching the show. I watch you for a while in total disbelief before finally turning my own attention to the Circus and giving in to the Zing! Zang! Zoom!
As soon as you finish eating and balling up your trash, slurping down the rest of your drink the lights go down in anticipation of the elephants coming out and you choose this moment to snuggle up next to me and slide your hand down my leg.
Oh! Ummm….NO!!
Love Always,

One Response to “Bad Date #328”
  1. driftlessmind says:

    OMG…Are you serious? Girl, your dates are hilarious, where do you find these clowns. Although, I’ve had a few clowns myself. And the thing that you and I have in common is, that we stick the date out, and it only gets worse. I always say in my mind is this for real.

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