Sunday

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Dear Heather Headley,
It’s 9:30 in the mornin, I didn’t sleep well again
Tossed all night long boy
Can’t stand it when we fight like this
Here we go again so I have to be gone
Can’t deal with the fallout
Gunna take a time out
I need to take the day off
Gunna gather my thoughts, gather myself
I need some time without you, without you

I had one of those horrifying experiences the evening before when you just instantly feel sick to your stomach and can’t get out of the situation fast enough. So when I woke up Sunday after a sleepless night I knew I needed to just take some time without any distractions and clear my head, gather my thoughts and gather my self. I headed over to Prospect Park and almost immediately upon stepping inside the enormous park I felt like I had escaped reality, escaped everything that was plaguing me and causing me to give little concern to wanting to undo all the doing I’d done to become the woman I am today. With an I-pod full of Erykah, Jill, Heather, Vivian, Angie and Lauryn I settled into a warm spot on the lake and just got lost in watching the kids fish, the geese gander, the light shine in all different ways across the lake and just found the peace I’d almost lost over the situation that had occurred the night prior.
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Maybe i’ll just take a walk
A few blocks get a bite to eat
See a movie (but not a love story)
Try to get in the key, listen to some Stevie
What I need to do is go to church
And pray for that gurl that got between us
Pray that I don’t see her
Pray that I don’t meet her
Pray that I don’t try to beat her

As I started to feel peace I couldn’t help but begin to reflect on you and I and everything that has been left behind as this relationship has reached a new turning point. The emotions surrounding such a huge loss in what I once deemed to be a worthy investment begin to swell inside of me and threatened to overflow. At this point I decided to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and as I did I just took in the sights and the appreciation of all that is around me. I was reminded of how easy it is to lose sight of what’s important and not truly appreciate the sight of all God has surrounded us in.
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What she says and what she does ain’t no concern to me
She don’t really need to be all up in ma business
Baby u didn’t really take the time to talk to me
You played me and betrayed me
Now I’m ready I need , I need Sunday

After my fantastic day I just released and wrote in my journal, finally giving in to the emotion that had sent me spiraling and as I climbed into bed satisfied the day was over but glad to be rid of the emotion surrounding the reason for my sudden escape, I forgave you and the way you played me and betrayed me and didn’t take the time to talk to me. I’ve never been so grateful for a Sunday because it was my day, it was all about me and it was exactly what I needed in order to clean the wound you left behind and sever the infection that was beginning to take place.
For a while I was starting to think I was strong enough to walk away but broken enough to look back but I realize I don’t need to continue looking back and I certainly don’t need to travel back to what once was. All I needed was a Sunday, my day.
Love Always,
Sunny

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Comments
2 Responses to “Sunday”
  1. Kimmie B says:

    Sunny Dee – thank for reiterating my thoughts through your words. You are a true inspiration and your merits will never go unnoticed. You deserve it all and God is going to make sure he gives it to you spiritually, physically and emotionally. Your journey is more than just a past relation, it is a rebirth as everything you do is an account for all things in the present and future. Keep striving to reach your sunshine!

  2. driftlessmind says:

    “The emotions surrounding such a huge loss in what I once deemed to be a worthy investment begin to swell inside of me and threatened to overflow. ”

    OMG, I can remember when me and my ex broke up, this was exactly how I felt. Thank you for putting my feelings into words.

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