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Dear Abortion Rights Advocates,

I have recently discovered there’s no such thing as abortion rights advocates and the reason I know this so completely is that there’s no such thing as a non-judgmental person and in order to be an abortion rights advocate that’s exactly what you would have to be. Now, this is not to say there’s no such thing as people who are pro-choice because I do believe there are those who have taken a stand that it’s a woman’s body and should be a woman’s right to choose.

You with me so far?

I know this is a controversial subject and I know there are some people that feel a stirring in their gut every time the subject is raised but I’m a writer and that’s what I do, I raise the subjects that cause you to become more aware, question your own prejudices and acknowledge your own ignorance, so if you choose to stay with me on this journey you’ll discover things about yourself, others and society as a whole that will open your mind and possibly even transform your thinking. If you choose not to travel with me I wish you well on the reasonable life you are living. Either way, you are perfect in whatever you choose.

So, moving forward on the journey…

Every morning I ride the New York City Subway and as with most New York City commuters I find myself in the same spot on the train everyday. Directly across from where I sit there’s a subway ad about abortion called abortionchangesyou.com and it advertises itself as a place where those who have had an abortion can come and know they are not alone. About a month ago I started thinking about the irony of that poster and out of curiosity I visited the site. Afterall, abortion is one of the most solitary ventures a woman can experience. Even if a friend or a perhaps the father accompanies the woman to the abortion site she is still left to go through the process of expelling that child from her fertile body. All the hand-holding in the world doesn’t allow anyone to actually take the place of the woman as she lies on that sterile bed, her legs open wide to the vacuum that will pull her child 8 months premature from her womb. Even women who choose to take the abortion pill and suffer the expulsion in the comfort of their home surrounded by all the loved ones they choose still experience abortion alone. Upon initial visit to the site I started to become warmed by the outlet of expression abortionchangesyou.com was offering. It is designed to be similar to many online support groups in that anyone who has had contact with abortion in their lives in any way can share their thoughts and experiences. This may include the mother, father, brother, sister or even grandparents of the deceased.

Then…I clicked on the link to contact them and was led to Project Rachel‘s website. An initiative of the Roman Catholic Church? As in the same church that doesn’t even believe in birth control? Much less abortion as a form of birth control? Immediately I became flabbergasted, confused and disheartened. This abortion advocate website suddenly wasn’t as much of an advocate for abortion rights as they claimed. In fact, despite claims that the founders were advocates of abortion or had even had an abortion themselves the Roman Catholic’s position on abortion is quite the opposite, and they are the backers for this website.

These thoughts have jumbled in my mind for the past few weeks and have confirmed my belief that there is a tolerance for abortion, possibly at times an understanding but there is certainly not advocacy in its purest form for abortion. From the nurse that assists in the paperwork, to the doctor that administers the abortion, to the pharmacist that fills the prescription there is judgment and many women have already placed themselves in a position of judgment before they even step foot into the facility and have a heightened awareness of the judgment they are receiving on what may turn out to be the most difficult day of their life.

Then yesterday I stumbled on Colleen Raezler’s article NYTimes: Post-Abortion Forum’s Ad Campaign ‘Propaganda Masquerading as Therapy’ and I couldn’t keep my mouth closed anymore.

As a woman sits in that waiting room, both the real and proverbial Waiting Room she is faced with a difficult decision. It is not a choice at all as many have claimed it to be but a decision she makes, weighing in all the variables and then eventually killing off the product of conception between herself and another.

So the next time you claim to be an abortion rights advocate think about the truth behind that claim. Evaluate who you are in that claim and who you claim to be by not claiming otherwise.

Love Always,


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