Better Woman

Dear Better Woman,

We spend so much time trying to be better, trying to more perfect, more amazing, fixed from every problem that has ever graced our lives and sometimes it just takes someone reminding you that you are perfect just the way you are. You are also human and wake up that way every day which means you make mistakes, but you also touch lives, you make people laugh and you are instrumental in the life of someone, even someone you may not know.

On a day like today, Mother’s Day, there’s so much to celebrate and there are mother’s all over the world who have molded us and shaped us into the amazing human beings that we are, even those that are not our own.  There is also opportunity as a single woman, one who desires to be a mother and desires to be a wife, to dwell on all her imperfections. All her areas in which she could be better, fix her issues, be more amazing, give more, love more, be prettier, thinner, anything to live the life she loves. On a day like today there’s an opportunity for a single woman to be her own worst enemy.

As I listened to Vivian Green’s ‘Better Man’ today I applied the lyrics to myself.

How many times have I been arrogant, ignorant and done and said the worst things? Is that why I’m still single and childless despite my incredible desire to mother and to be an amazing wife in the life of another?

How many times have I been so selfish I don’t even remember the important things in your life, or how to be important to you in your life?

How many times have I been my own worst enemy, so damn helpless?

I’ve taken advantage of my loved ones, I’ve been a lost one. I’ve won some but this one? This motherhood thing, this building a home, taking a vow, loving and being loved? I just lost that one.

Then I woke up this morning to the most amazing message from a friend, a message that sang to me of my importance in not just his life but in the life of his entire family and in that moment I became an ordinary human being with an extraordinary impact on the lives of those I love.

I listened to the rest of the song with a feeling of contentment and for that am such much more able to enjoy today in the fullest way possible as nothing but a celebration of love. Of course, there’s also nothing better than watching my nephew leap into the arms of his grandma and watching the pure joy on my mother’s face in being able to affirm that Good Mom’s get promoted to Grandma.

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