Was It A Dream?

Lubok-style cover of a Russian dream book. The...

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Dear Mr. Sandman,

You must have been at your absolute best last night because I woke up this morning with this memory that I honestly can not decide whether it was a dream or whether it actually happened.

Immediately it made me think of J-Harris’ show last weekend in which he performed Illusional Sin with his LoveJones NYC dancers. The premise of his song is actually quite intriguing and last Sunday night at BB King‘s was the third time I’ve seen J-Harris perform this song and each time has been equally as mesmerizing but always for completely different reasons. The first time I saw it performed I was held fully captive by the actual performance. When you go to showcases as often as I do it’s impossible not to have a preset expectation of what you’ll see. I know there will be singers, rappers, poets and there may possibly be dancers, comedians and emcees that are interesting. I definitely did not, however, expect to see the emcee perform. I don’t just mean he started singing and turned out to have a set of his own, I’ve seen that a number of times but I mean he actually performed. The dancers brought out chairs and there was an actual routine that involves lighting changes and flashlights and J-Harris uses his performance to bring to life the story his song tells. It’s become rare to see even these mainstream singers and rappers that society has dedicated to following around and idolizing do in actual performance in their concert. It’s like all the media attention is designed to make you forget they haven’t done anything interesting other than cheat on their girlfriend, beat their girlfriend, get their girlfriend pregnant or go to jail with their girlfriend. I mean, most of the artists who consistently show up at all these award shows I can tell you what beach they frolicked on, which country they recently adopted a child from, what color their newly pimped out ride is and which NBA games they frequent but I can not tell you the last time they performed. So, when J-Harris performs it is a show that sticks in your mind in a way that has you waking up in the middle of the night still singing the lyrics in your mind and relating them to your own difficulty distinguishing between the dream and the reality.

At least that’s my story.

When I saw J-Harris this past weekend at BB King’s I was completely tuned into the words and on the way home from the show and all of the next day my girls and I were talking about the actual lyrics and how deep they. The song starts off immediately by asking the same question that had me pop up this morning filled with a memory but not quite sure whether it had actually happened: Was It a Dream?

From there it breaks down the story of what happened. Even as he tells the actual details of waking up with a mark on his neck and the number of his best friend’s girl in his pocket, the empty patron bottles, the empty bed he acknowledges that the details are fuzzy but they’re definitely there which leaves the mind saying I Don’t Know.

Followed by this is the realization that if it wasn’t a dream there was “another me” that emerged, a part of self that is either denied or entirely unrecognizable and that definitely needed to be forgiven. I mean, in waking reality we know all the “thou shall nots” but what about in that place of dreams and even more so, in that place where dreams become waking reality?

It’s deep y’all. Illusional Sin will have you really asking yourself if the things that may happen in your dreams could actually happen in your reality.

So back to me, although my dream wasn’t as exciting I did wake up this morning and even as I make the walk to the shower, stand in the shower and continue through my morning I can not shake this memory and the feeling that it wasn’t just a dream. So, I start going through all the strategies of searching for clues. Search back through the phone log and outgoing messages to see if there are any clues that will help me solve this mystery and there’s nothing but still the sigh of relief I take is shallow because I just can’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t a dream.

Love Always,
Sunny

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