Things We Give Away

Dear Salvation Army,

I’m just like any other New York Diva who has too much stuff and not enough closet space to hold it all in. Every year I do spring cleaning which is a refreshing opportunity to give away those things I don’t need and begin filling my closet with all new things that I think I do need. This is also a time of year in which I do some looking into the closet of my life and looking at what personal and unnecessary items I can get rid of in order to begin the New Year with enough room for all I’m hoping to receive. This year as I begin to look I can’t help but be shocked by all the things I’ve already given away. With all I’ve been emptied of this year I am expecting there to be plenty coming along to fill me up again.

1. My Love: It’s true I am absolutely the type that gives my love away on a regular basis. It was given to me by God and is not mine to hold on to but is definitely mine to give away. However, there is a distinct pleasure from knowing that the feeling you have for a person just went from like to love and that from that moment on something has changed about the love you are giving them or the love you are willing to give them. From that moment forward you feel like you can fly as you release your love for them and continue to give that love to them. It’s just as Thomas A Kempis wrote “Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of its trouble, attempts what is above it’s strength, pleads no excuse for impossibility, for it thinks all things are lawful for itself and all things are possible.” In the year 2010 I gave my love away.

2. My Job: Remember the Chris Rock skit where he talks about the difference between a career and a job? He goes into detail about how when you have a career there’s not enough hours in the week to get all the things done you need to. You look up Friday afternoon and you’re like “AAAWW! It’s the weekend already! I’ll have to take some of this work home with me.” On a job though the clock goes by slower than you could have ever imagined humanly possible and you spend half the time you’re there counting the minutes until the day is over. I was on a job at this time last year. Quite possibly the worst job of my life and although I worked hard and put an extreme amount of energy into being the best I could on my job it was still a job and I am so grateful that was one of the things I gave up for 2010. Now I am back in my career and am more in love with it than ever. For 2010 I gave my job away.

3. My Home: My  move to New York was a whirlwind of excitement, purpose and intentionality. I literally got off the plane and had a place to live. A beautiful Brownstone in Brooklyn that was filled with my dreams, my hopes and my newly discovered love for New York. Even when things started to look like they weren’t quite what they seemed I was reluctant to give up on my home, believing that if I was just patient enough, just believed enough, just withstood enough I would be able to hold onto this place that was so clearly no longer my home. I packed it up and said good-bye and moved in with a family I can honestly call family. I now have a place of my own and every single night at the end of my day I am glad to go home and glad to be with the people who live with me in my new home. I gave away my Home.

4. My Writing: I’ve always had a dream to be a writer. Far above anything else I’ve done in life I’ve wanted to write professionally. Wanted to be famous for my writing, not just to have a byline but for people to be touched, moved and inspired by my writing. For people to read what I’ve written and be able to apply it to their life, be able to celebrate the words as something they can relate to or breathe in the words as a celebration of their own craft and talent. This year I did not take a single freelance writing job, not one. I developed my blog, I finished one book and started another, I edited others’ writing and I wrote because I love to. Then it happened. My writing touched someone to the point that they want me to be a writer with their company. I gave my Writing away.

5. My Pain: This year I give away the pain, the disappointment, the anger, the frustration and the humiliation that has enveloped me over the course of the year. It’s amazing the way sometimes you can look up and realize that it’s all gone on long enough. Landmark Education has had a huge impact on me letting go of much of the past that has been holding me back from being able to fully embrace my future. The other piece of it has been my relationship with the Lord and giving it over to Him when things were at their worst. I realize I really do have worth, really am worthy and even at the moments when my beauty falls short in the eyes of mine I know He is there to life me up and to carry me when I feel like I can’t take another step. There are definitely moments when this Sunny California girl dropped in Brooklyn is faced with more clouds than I like to admit but this year I give away my Pain.

Love Always,

Sunny

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